Bridget Boltz
Approaching the release of her band’s first album, hybrid genre vocalist Bridget Boltz is emerging from her musical hiding place to rewrite her next chapter as an artist.
It’s 8 A.M. in Los Angeles and the Sunday sky has decided on a haze, which Bridget prefers. “It’s perfect,” she says. “I wish it was always like this.”
I meet with the famously silver-haired songbird in her backyard along the contour of Beverly Hills. She’s sitting under a tree that her home’s previous owner had adorned with dangling stones like crystalline ornaments, and it frames her fittingly like a portrait in an elven reverie.
There was a time when much of Bridget’s musical repertoire was coated in careful anonymity. Caches of cover songs. Sound bites of self-serenades. One wandering EP. Now, this summer, the newly determined multi-instrumentalist is setting her voice free, and she’s more ready than she’s ever been.
Bridget talks about her first full album project, what influences her writing, and how she conquers her creative anxieties in a constantly vulnerable space.
Your first tattoo is the alchemical symbol for water. I understand it’s because you grew up living close to the water. Tell me about that.
I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area. I was about thirty minutes from the beach, thirty minutes from the pier. It was really nice to be surrounded by all types of water and nature. My brother and dad are both surfers, and my mom is just, “Let’s sit by the pool and hang out.”
It was a common bond with my family. When I think about growing up and spending time north with my family, water is the first thing that comes to mind. It was really positive to grow up as a little water kid.
Like a little Squirtle.
Yeah, a little Squirtle Squad.
At what point would you say music finally found its way into your life?
I don’t know how true this is: my parents told me that my first words were “Don’t Speak” by No Doubt. [laughs] They said that before I would even say anything, I would be like don’t speak! in the car. I know that I’ve always been really interested in music. I think it was kind of a point of when did I stop being really insecure and start trying to pursue it? I’ve always been super fascinated by it. When I was a kid, I had a little tape player that I would stick to my ear and just listen to whatever. And it was always very weird things that a kid should not be listening to.
Like what?
My dad made me a tape with Suicidal Tendencies and Rush when I was in kindergarten, so I was just like, “Yeah, cool!” I think I got in trouble for it.
When I heard a Primus song for the first time, that’s when I knew I was going to play bass. I remember thinking, “I’m going to learn every single one of their songs.” I started playing guitar and bass around eight-ish. Guitar first, then I went into my first guitar lesson, saw the bass, and was like…I want to play that.
What exactly was it about hearing the bass that captivated you?
The second I knew what it was and attached it to what I heard Les Claypool play, I was just fascinated. The fact that you can make that many sounds with four really low strings that a lot of bands don’t really utilize, I was all over it.
“I know that I’ve always been really interested in music. I think it was kind of a point of when did I stop being really insecure and start trying to pursue it?”
How did the aspect of making music evolve while you were still living in the Bay Area?
I ended up meeting a ton of friends who were also interested in music. They would convince me to do open mic nights and talent shows. So it was getting out of my shell of what I love to do at home, and trying to bring it a little more public.
So, when did you decide to move south to L.A.?
I moved to L.A. once. I lived in Santa Monica for college. Didn’t love it. Too much was happening all the time. So I moved back to the Bay Area, and when I got more comfortable with what I actually wanted to do, I moved to the Burbank/Valley area to do music.
“When I was a kid, I had a little tape player that I would stick to my ear and just listen to whatever. And it was always very weird things that a kid should not be listening to.”
You moved to L.A. specifically to pursue music?
Yeah, this recent move. It’s been about three years now since I’ve been here working on music.
You’ve gone through a whole spectrum of hair colors these last few years, which can be a huge part of our identity and how we see ourselves. What is it about white or silver hair that always brings you back to it?
The first time that I dyed my hair white or silver was right before I graduated high school.
So you weren’t born this way?
I was not, unfortunately. This is a lie. [laughs] I graduated a little early—I went to a different school that went a little more faster track. I was at a more artistic high school, and decided I was going to cut all my hair off and bleach it white just because I could. I didn’t have a peer circle that said I couldn’t. Just knowing that I could do it was pretty liberating. It was the first color that I tried.
I keep going back to it because it feels the most like me. Every time I see a different color, I just think it looks like this or like this. When I see white or silver, I go, “Oh, that’s default. That’s what I’m supposed to look like.” It’s fun to play around with other [hair colors], but I’m obsessed with The Witcher, I’m obsessed with anything that is high fantasy, so I think having white hair is like, I’m an elf now and I just have to embrace it all the time.
Let’s talk about your new music this summer. Is this your first full album?
It’ll be the first full album, but it’ll be a lot of singles first.
What can you tell me about this project so far?
The band is called Mannequin Online. It’s me and Zach DeGaetano, who’s an excellent singer-songwriter, and we’re working on this project together. It’s kind of a pop-alternative-rock project, so it’s a little bit of everything. It’s funky, it’s alternative, it’s catchy. We just shot our first music video. We have our first single and some remixes of that single that are coming out. The first song we’re coming out with is called “So Cool” and that’s all I can say that’s finalized right now.
It’s really exciting because it’s a genre that I’m very happy with. It’s very different and creative and fun. A lot of the times I’ve written or worked on anything, it’s been very streamlined, it’s got rules. This project doesn’t. Our label’s very much supportive and giving us a lot of independence, which I’m happy about.
How far has this project come since it first started?
It started about a year ago in thought, and it’s just been writing and working for over a year. We were signed maybe a few months ago, and it’s been slowly taking off since then. It’s a brain child that just started developing into something that will actually come out.
“It’s fun to play around with other [hair colors], but I’m obsessed with The Witcher, I’m obsessed with anything that is high fantasy, so I think having white hair is like, I’m an elf now and I just have to embrace it all the time.”
What can you say about the music video your band just filmed?
I can say that filming it was so incredibly fun and so incredibly stressful. We had a two-day shoot, we did a lot of driving, we went very far into nature. It was the first time I ever shot a music video, so I was terrified, but everyone I worked with was really nice and there were free chips. That’s all I could ask for. As soon as I saw free chips, I knew that everything would be okay.
I was scared. I had never really acted—I think on accident I auditioned for a movie once, and that was it—so I was reading the treatment and it said something about a young woman acting, and I was like, “I wonder who they cast as the young woman.” And Zach was like, “That’s you. You’re the young woman.” So it was a lot of firsts, but a really cool opportunity. We actually just last night got the final cut back and I’ve been watching it. I’m totally in love with it.
In the past, you’ve often made little snippets of music. You would upload clips of yourself singing, then immediately delete them.
Yes.
So, I know where you are right now with your music is a major milestone. What does reaching this point mean to you?
To me, personally, I’ve always been so anxious and so insecure and so scared to put anything of myself out there. It’s not even like I don’t care if people don’t like it, if people think it sucks, or if I’m the worst in the entire world, but I’m such a harsh critic on myself.
This is the first project that’s been more fun than anxious. It’s been more expressive and creative and it’s had so much of a positive influence on me being able to explore that in a freeing way without having to second-guess everything. I have people who are supportive. I feel more secure in what I’m doing. [This project] is more of my style, so I’m not like, “Oh, this person sounds better than me.” I can’t compare it to anything. It’s something I’m happy with because there’s no room for me to get in my own way and stop myself.
What did you have to do to start feeling more confident in your music?
Lots of pushing myself. Lots of going to things I didn’t want to go to. Lots of knowing that I would be uncomfortable, but doing things anyway just because I knew it would be important if this was going to happen. Going to sessions like, “I’m not feeling great today, but I have to go because it’s important.” Realizing that if I can do this, then I can do all of this. Small steps to get to a better place.
“[This project] is more of my style, so I’m not like, ‘Oh, this person sounds better than me.’ I can’t compare it to anything. It’s something I’m happy with because there’s no room for me to get in my own way and stop myself.”
How’s your support system?
It’s great. I have the best family in the entire world; they’re so supportive in everything I do. If I tell my mom that I wrote one word today, she’d be like, “That is so awesome!”
My dad is also the only musically inclined person in my family at all, so anything he hears from me, he’s just so happy and he knows where it comes from. My dad found my Twitter and he follows it. He’ll text me randomly and be like, “I saw a sad tweet. How are you?” My family is incredible.
Does your songwriting tend to lean more inwards like self-reflection, or more outwards like a direct message to people listening?
It’s a bit more inwards for me, and hopefully will become more outwards. The process of creating music and performing music is more personal; trying to make sense of what I’m dealing with, and hoping that once it’s out there people can do the same with it.
What inspires your lyrics?
I am a huge nerd. I really like to read anything and everything. There are a couple of books I always go back to, and 99 percent of what I write—poetry or lyrics—is inspired by a couple of books or plays. One is Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead by Tom Stoppard. I read that like every week, and it’s just the most inspiring thing in the world to me. I have a quote from that tattooed on me, and that is the only quote I have tattooed on me. There are lots of books, lots of video games—as sad as that sounds—and other poetry and lyrics. Particularly, I really like John Keats. I read his stuff all the time. Tom Stoppard and John Keats will always jog something for me.
What topics do you tend to write about in your music?
I tend to write about my experiences with anxiety, and then usually it just starts there and goes into, “Is this a good day or a bad day or what are we dealing with here?” It’s a lot of anxiety…and then probably boys. [laughs]
“The process of creating music and performing music is more personal; trying to make sense of what I’m dealing with, and hoping that once it’s out there people can do the same with it.”
Are there things you used to write about when you were younger that you no longer do, or write about differently now that you’ve matured along the way?
Yeah, I used to write a ton of cheesy, shitty little “I love you, I miss you” and I just don’t care anymore. If I write about anything love-related or relationship-related now, it’s mostly just a reflection. The things that I cared about when I started writing music I couldn’t care less about now. I have bigger problems than boys, so that’s where I’m at.
Aside from music, you also have an analog photography project on Instagram called 7:35. How does photography help nourish your creativity among everything else you’re doing?
My dad is a photographer. He’s super talented. I grew up watching him take pictures like, “Man, I wish I could do that.” It was figuring out what he used, what he did, and how to capture the world like he did.
This past year, I have fallen totally, totally in love with analog photography. I went down a Reddit rabbit hole. Everything was beautiful. Every single picture, I could find something that I loved. And the process is so cathartic—going into the photo lab, getting my film developed, scanning at home, altering what I need to, and never touching it again.
Do you find that your approach for taking photos artistically impacts your approach for making music?
I’d say so. I really like to take photos of people. My friends and their expressions make me inspired. I took a picture the other day of my friend Courtney opening an album for the first time, and she looked so excited. It was pure joy, and I was like, “I have to write about this.” It is such a special picture to me. Courtney, you’re beautiful.
I’m curious how you’ve become infatuated with K-pop these past couple of years. Has your love for the genre influenced your music in any way?
I had a friend that was like, “You’ve got to check this out. It’s something else. It’s really interesting.” And I was like, “No, I don’t want to. I only like metal.” I was being stubborn. But there were a couple of songs that really grabbed me.
It was such a fascinating approach to music, and the visual aspects were so interesting to me. I was so intrigued by how important the photography was to the project, the video, the teasers, the concepts, everything. That’s really what has been inspiring to me. To see the whole package. There are no holds barred.
Maybe someday you’ll have a collab with a K-pop artist.
I would die. I would die right on the spot.
Looking to the future, where do you plan on taking your music after your band’s album is finally out there?
I don’t have an endgame. I don’t have anything in particular that I’m working towards. I just want to be happy. I want to make my family happy, and work on things that are positive. As long as I am at a point where I can be doing that every day, that’s going to be what’s most important to me. Having more good days than bad days. It’s wanting to make my ratio of anxiety-to-happiness better, and I’m doing that.
“I just want to be happy. I want to make my family happy, and work on things that are positive. As long as I am at a point where I can be doing that every day, that’s going to be what’s most important to me.”
Reflecting on how far you’ve come, if you could comfort the younger version of yourself that was still so uncertain of where she was going, what would you want her to know?
I would just want her to know that with anxiety, with insecurity, with everything that I’ve been through, it’s never going to go straight up. Nothing is perfect. Everything is going to be a step forward, and it’s okay to have steps backwards. It’s not the end of the world if you have a day when you’re anxious because what matters is that you know that it’s not forever.
Progress all goes different ways—backwards, upside down, it’s fucking nuts—but the point is you are going forward. You’re taking every day and feeling happier, less insecure, more certain. And it’s going to take you all over the place, but that’s a part of it. A bad day is a good day if you can learn something from it.
To this day, is there a single lyric or poem—written by you or otherwise—that you keep closest to your heart?
There are two quotes that I couldn’t in a million years come close to describing how amazing they are. There’s one from what I have tattooed on me from Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead: “We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered.” It blows me away. Nothing is going to be specifically remembered. If you had something horrible that has happened to you, you’re not going to remember what it was, you’re going to remember how you felt. You can deal with feelings. It’s events that feel so over-encompassing and overwhelming. It’s reassuring to me, and it’s why I love it so much.
The other one is the very last couple of lines from Ode to a Nightingale by John Keats. It’s so brilliant and beautiful. It’s the last thing he wrote—if I’m correct—before he died when he knew he was dying. It is the most heart-wrenching but accepting thing. It’s this piece of work you can only do once in a lifetime, and it’s crazy to read that.
As for things I’ve written, there’s literally only one poem that I’m really proud of….
Poem and photograph by Bridget Boltz.